Things Not to Worry About

Lotsa of things of an unsettling nature are going on today.  As I write this, the stock market is down about 400 points and is rapidly approaching correction territory. A correction is a decline of at least 10 percent from the most recent market high. So if the Dow Jones Industrials goes down to 15,551, we would be in correction territory.

The thing is there’s nothing you can do about it. While the global economy picture is not great, stock prices are not at a point that they are terribly over-valued, so not many people are predicting a bear market. There have been 27 market corrections since the end of WWII and each time the market has bounced back, with the average being 115 days. 

So if you haven’t taken your stocks off the table already, leave them where they are because if you cash in now, you’re only locking in your losses. These things usually happen once a year, but we haven’t had a correction since 2011, so we’re due. This is something not to worry about.

Another thing not to worry about is Ebola. At least not in the U.S. There are many things to worry about in my home country—out-of-control Republicans, stupid gun laws that kill 30,000 people a year, abortion law restrictions that will end in the deaths of untold numbers of young women, lightning strikes that will kill a few dozen, and the lack of political movement on climate change. But Ebola, gosh, it’s killed two people in the U.S. so far—we lose that many in 30 seconds to heart disease.

And finally, back to ISIS. Let’s not worry about ISIS. They do not present an immediate threat to the U.S. Sure they’re crazy and sure our bombing missions will not subdue them—but really, are they about to set up a caliphate in the U.S.? Please, not to worry!

Finally, don’t worry about Beyonce and Jay Z. I’m sure they’ll be able to work out their differences and remain the first couple of American Pop. We all have our ups and downs. Let’s worry about those things and let Beyonce and Jay Z worry about theirs. If things do go south on them, it’ll give us more time to worry about Kim and Kanye.

Still, if you must worry about things that don’t affect you, let me know and I’ll share my martini recipe with you. It nips worry in the bud.