I was thinking about Sophie’s Choice today and like anyone who read the book or saw the movie, you reflect on what kind choice you would make. Do you take the boy or the girl? And you can’t chicken out and say “Take me instead,” as would most parents. As much as I am terrified of dying, the reality is in our face every day and I suppose even I would rather take my own life than to witness the death of one of my kids due to my “choice.”
So should it be Erica or Natalie? Of course the coward’s way out of flipping a coin or other engines of chance are prohibited. And I must not be swayed by anything they say or do to cause prejudice in my decision one way or the other. With Sophie, it was probably a gender decision and, since most cultures value males over females, rather unfairly in my opinion, her choice was not a surprise. But I have two girls. Both healthy, loving, full of promise. And I must choose one.
I’m stuck. Most important decisions should entail a listing of pros and cons and a rationale applied to yield an optimal decision. But my two girls are quite similar and their differences are irrelevant when it comes to weighing decisions pertaining to their mortality. Natalie is younger and healthier and will probably live longer if I don’t have her killed. But Erica has launched a career and is now a married woman with a husband to take care of. No, I can’t run away, because if I don’t make a choice, they will both be put to death, as will I.
Sorry, this will require more thought. I’ll come back to it later. Maybe.
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